bill's awesome procuitto & asparagus pizza

i'm not going to lie, my husband is a pizza-and-beer guy. just, you know, a GOURMET pizza and beer guy. on a recent trip to visit family, he invented this insanely easy pizza. i wanted him to guest blog, but, alas, he thinks you'll miss my dumb jokes. or something.

ingredients:

• pizza shell (pre-made crust)
• tomato sauce
• one of those mozzarella/prosciutto/basil roll-ups
• about a half-pound of asparagus

optional ingredients:

• scratch cheese (which, btw, means your choice of those grated aged cheese combinations, like peccorino-romano and shit)
• crushed garlic/garlic powder
• olive oil spray
• oregano (et cetera)

prep:

• chop asparagus into about one inch chunks, steam or blanch
• slice cheese roll thinly

actual cooking:

• (spray crust with olive oil, sprinkle with herbs, spices and scratch cheese)
• spread tomato sauce VERY THINLY over the shell, almost to the edge
• spread out your sliced cheese roll to cover sauce (a little space between is fine, it will melt)
• add asparagus on top
• bake (about 350?) until ooey-gooey and delicious-looking

ohmygod, so good. i'm starting to think i should make him cook more often.

potatoflower soup

this delicious soup makes a great lunch, and all it takes to convert the recipe to a healthy alternative to mashed potatoes is omitting the water. sweet. and? it's SO EASY. i always thought soups would be hard to make and then last fall: click. i get it. you need one of the following to make this soup: an immersion blender, a huge blender, a potato masher, a big food processor, a hand mixer or a fork and infinite patience.

ingredients:

• 4 large potatoes
• 1 quart chicken (or veggie) broth
• 1 head of cauliflower
• 1 onion
• water
• sea salt & fresh ground pepper (should we just assume that every savory recipe needs these?)
• a drop (or spritz) of oil

prep:

• cube potatoes (and skin them if you or your eaters are wusses)
• trim cauliflower into florets
• chop onion

actual cooking:

• put a big pot over high heat, spritz with oil
• add onions, stir
• add cauliflower, stir
• add potatoes, stir
• add broth and about 1/2 quart of water
• cover, cook for, oh, you know, a while... until both potatoes and cauliflower are a bit soft
• remove from heat and mash it all together with whatever implement you're working with (i used a potato masher & hand mixer. i bet an immersion blender is freaking AWESOME, but i don't have one.)
• salt & pepper to taste

tada! easiest. recipe. ever.

so, like i said, all you have to do to make this seem just like mashed potatoes is omit the water and maybe add a bit of butter at the end. mmmmmmm.

(by the way-- cauliflower is a cabbage. so it kinda smells. which apparently makes people think it tastes gross. it DOES NOT. it is delicious. and versatile. and potato-like.)

falafel & israeli cous cous

tonight we had falafel & israeli cous cous for dinner. SO yummy. and EASY. possibly because i cheated.

ingredients:

• falafel mix (this is the cheating part... available in your grocer's "ethnic" section)
• olive oil
• water
• israeli cous cous (different from regular cous cous)

prep:

• combine falafel mix with water as directed (manichevitz brand wants 1/2 cup water to one packet mix)
• let stand ten minutes

actual cooking:

• in a small sauce pan lightly brown 2/3 cups cous cous in a tablespoon of olive oil, stirring frequently for about five minutes
• add about 1 cup (a smidge less) water, bring to boil, turn way down and cover (check occasionally so you don't burn it!)
• set about 1/2 inch of oil in a pan to heat
• roll falafel mix into one inch balls
• fry falafel in oil until browned (you'll have to turn them once and maybe roll them around a bit if you went light on the oil like i did which is kinda pointless since you're DEEP FRYING for christsakes!)
• remove falafel and drain on paper towels

SO GOOD. seriously. but israeli cous cous has NO TASTE. a tiny sprinkle of sea salt made it perfect, since the falafel was kinda spicy. if you thought ahead about this meal, you might want it to have, oh, i dunno, a vegetable? or something? i think wilted baby spinach would be perfect. you could dump your falafel oil, not clean the pan, and toss in the spinach while the falafel drains. yum!

(spell check HATES this recipe.)

serves 2 or 3, depending on your eaters.

i got behind again...

this weekend i'll be making rosemary-olive oil bread, lasagna and maybe a gluten-free, egg-free cake. also expect an apple pie (THE ONE?) and a quick write-up on last weekend's raviolis and pumpkin pie.

turkey florentine raviolis

well, after breaking down and admitting that not EVERYTHING i touch turns into culinary gold, it is only appropriate that i should post culinary platinum. turkey florentine raviolis. i whipped up forty good-sized raviolis on sunday-- really, like biggish. maybe 3 inch squares. maybe bigger. or smaller. this is not a geometry blog, okay? you're going to have to settle for "biggish."


for this recipe, you NEED a pasta roller of some kind. i use the attachment for my fucking awesome small appliance of all trades: the standing mixer. maybe YOU can roll them by hand, but i don't have that kind of patience. so.


equipment:

• standing mixer (with flat beater & dough hook)
• pasta roller
• pastry brush

ingredients:

• 3 1/2 cups of flour (plus extra for dusting)
• 1 teaspoon of salt
• about 1/8 cup of water (more or less as needed)
• 6 eggs
• about a pound of ground turkey (i used 1.2 cause that's how much was in the package)
• garlic (fresh or powder)
• basil (fresh or dried)
• fresh parsley, chopped finely (like... 1/4 cup. ish.)
• whatever other spices you like in your pasta
• sea salt
• grated parmesan (or whatever...)
• 1/2-1 cup of finely chopped frozen spinach, cooked
• 1/2-3/4 cup shredded mozzarella
• homemade or jarred red gravy of your choice

prep:

• saute turkey and spices together (this makes your filling harder to work with, but more flavorful. feel free to skip it if you want to sacrifice the awesome deliciousness or if your fine motor skills aren't up to par.)
• make sure your cheeses are shredded and your herbs are chopped

actual cooking:

• combine flour, four eggs, salt & water in mixer (or by hand) with a flat beater at low speed. you've got the right amount of water when a small bit of dough sticks together if pressed. it will look too crumbly if you're not squishing it. that's okay.
• knead with dough hook or by hand until all stuck together (if you're using a dough hook it may need a couple hand squishes)
• cut dough into quarters
• cover 3/4 of dough with damp cloth
• run dough through pasta roller at the lowest setting, fold in half and repeat (3 or 4 times)
• gradually increase the setting until the pasta is as thin as you like (i went with a 4 even though five or six is recommended for raviolis because i didn't want to deal with a very thin dough on my first try)
• when the first piece is done lay it flat, dust it with flour and flip it over to lay flour side down
• do the other 3 pieces, same as the first
• combine one raw egg, cheese, meat and herbs with a bit of sea salt to taste
• score a piece of dough in half (try folding it over vertically to get the center)
• score one side into raviolis (2 rows x however many you can fit)
• brush the scored side with beaten egg
• drop rounded spoonfuls of meat mixture into the center of each square
• fold over the other side VERY GENTLY
• press layers together from the center out (so you don't get air bubbles in your raviolis, which will pop in cooking)
• cut raviolis apart with a ravioli edger, CLEAN pinking shears or a knife
• do the other 3 the same way

the raviolis can either be cooked immediately or frozen in a single layer on a floured baking sheet. one frozen, they can be bagged for later use. this recipe made 40 raviolis for me and 30 were eaten that night. five were lunch the next day, and fiver remain in the freezer for my grandmother-- she likes to taste the wonderful things i make and tell me i'm just like her mother, and to be careful of the evil eye, which can be warded off by making that horn sign with your hands, but it's less conspicuous to tie a red ribbon on your bra. i can't even make this shit up.

serve them with a cheesy or creamy red gravy, salad and bread. and wine. definitely wine.

pie, pie, me oh my

okay. this is the ugly truth: not everything i cook comes out perfect. there. i admitted it. most things that come out wrong the first time are great the second time. some things... are not. like pie.

apparently, i can't bake a pie to save my life. oh, yes, it's true. PIE. my nemesis. i just popped my fourth apple crumb pie in as many weeks into the oven. and it's WRONG. let's break it up into its parts, shall we?

PIE CRUST: pie crust is deceptively simple. four ingredients (flour, fat, salt, water) are gently combined, rolled out beautifully, dropped into a pie plate, decoratively edged and bake up to flaky perfection. right? right. easy enough. i can't do it. i got a pastry blender. i tried it with ice-cold shortening, butter, room temperature shortening, ice water, cool water... every possible adjustment. i've followed the recipe to the letter and i've relied on my instincts. i've conjured up memories of my mother tossing pie crust together like it was nothing and i've stared at the frozen pie crust at trader joe's wondering if anyone would notice if i used one. the same batch of crust that was a perfect base to a pretty good pumpkin pie yesterday is a total crap base to yet another apple crumb pie today. did ya catch that?? THE SAME BATCH of pie crust is acting totally different today. i don't know what to do.

APPLE FILLING: my apple fillings ranged from sticky and squashy (when i forgot to cut in the butter!) to sour and crispy (pretty much every other time!) i'm trying to find rome apples, but so far i've been stuck with granny smith's. not. working.

CRUMB TOPPING: probably impossible to get WRONG, but still never quite RIGHT. there's no definition to my crumbs. but, seriously? sugar, butter, spice, flour. it's always delicious.

my fourth attempt at apple crumb pie is smelling delicious just now, almost half an hour into baking. i think the little bastard is lying-- just taunting me with it's perfect smell so that, later, after our guests enjoy the turkey, spinach and parmesan raviolis i made FROM INGREDIENTS, then can be shocked at appalled at how very, very BAD my pie is. but at least bill won't have to eat ANOTHER mediocre apple crumb pie all by himself.

veggie fried rice

this is a per-serving recipe. i can't think of any reason not to multiply the number of people (+ at least two, for safety) by the amount of each ingredient. if you have a big enough pan, that is.

ingredients:

• 1/2 cup leftover (or chilled) rice
• 1/2-3/4 cup mixed veggies, chopped (i used a frozen blend form trader joe's [organic foursome] 1/4 of a small onion and 3 asparagus spears)
• 1 egg
• canola oil (a spray is ideal)
• soy sauce

prep:

• cook your rice yesterday

actual cooking:

• spray a medium-sized frying pan (at medium-high heat) with canola oil
• add veggies, stir
• add rice, stir
• (spritz with oil)
• add a drizzle of soy sauce to taste
• cover and let the flavors blend (two minutes, tops, and make sure everything's well lubricated)
• push rice mixture to the sides of the pan (basically, make a very big well)
• spray pan with oil
• pour in scrambled egg
• scramble the egg alone until almost done, then pull in rice mixture

believe it or not, it is very important to salt your rice water, but not too much, or this dish is really bland-- even with the soy sauce. and a small note on veggies: the organic foursome is perfect with julienned carrots, corn, peas and chopped green beans, onion is pretty much a must and asparagus is just yummy. i've also enjoyed veggie fried rice with mung sprouts, brussel sprouts, broccoli and a bunch of other veggies i'm forgetting. be creative!