concept: daddy cookies

my entire life, my daddy has been responsible for eating-- and enjoying-- every, single, ugly, ridiculous thing i've baked. it's pretty much his sworn duty. even when it's a "cake" that took three hours in the easybake oven and is frosted black, and not by using chocolate frosting and black food dye (oh, yeah, they have that!), but mixing all the colors together. mmmmm, delicious, sweetie.

for whatever reason, i've been having a slightly bad run with cookies this year. my peanut butter cookies are a little too short and hard. (but pretty, damn it!) my first tray of oatmeal cookies spread too much and browned too much. my pinwheels are three different sizes (totally my fault). my first tray of sugar cookies stuck to my greased cookie sheets. so did my first batch of slightly misshapen spritzes. my second go at sugar cookies came out beautiful but my second batch of spritzes came out horribly misshapen. horribly.

ugly or slightly irregular cookies do not go on trays. they're called husband cookies. we feed them to our husbands. (i know, you think you want to feel bad for the poor husbands eating ugly or irregular cookies all month-- don't. they're eating delicious, homemade cookies all month, okay?) i make so many husband cookies that bill has to spread the wealth a little bit. hence the concept: daddy cookies.

last night i made a whole batch of husband/daddy spritzes. a whole batch. that's, like, six dozen. they're perfect in every other way, but all kinds of ugly. i don't know why. my press is messed up-- there's too much pressure or something-- it's really hard to press out the cookies and dough leaks, spills, really, in between cookies, leaving little cookie tails. and, to top it all off, somehow, the christmas tree plate broke. it's broken. unusable. do you think wilton sells them individually? no. wilton and i are totally in a fight. except... i really want a couple of food dye sets (the 12-pack, the 8-pack, primary, pastel and garden tones, and maybe throw in some white-white, no-taste red and copper), one of those spinny cake holders, a frosting spatula and... and... a cordless electric cookie press.

for now? i soldier on. chocolate-orange-almond biscotti tonight. (chocoralmond, for short.)

springerle cookies (2008)

that? is not what my springerle cookies look like. it's from thespringerlebaker.com, which has all kinds of information about springerle cookies, including a recipe.

fun fact about springerle cookies: you make the dough, roll it out, cut it out, set it on a greased baking sheet sprinkled with anise seeds and then... elave them out over night to get stale. no shit. it's the funniest thing. it's the kind of thing that makes me wonder, you know, whose idea was that?? like blue cheese or vodka or thousand-year eggs.

i guess there are two kinds of springerle molds: rolling pins (like i use) and stamps. the thing about rolling pins is... i think the dough needs to be much thicker, because the rolling pin flattens it while it presses in the pretty designs. i think.

so, mine suck. this year they are thicker than last year, but they were still too thin. and i have no idea what they're supposed to taste like. plus? i cut them out with an ancient ravioli trimmer (because then the egdes are pinked, not just cut and they look more intentional) and that messes up the angles of the corners. i should try springerle's sometime between now and next christmas, but they're soooo haaaaaard and they make me pout and swear and growl. and growling at cookie dough? is pathetic.

but, anyway. they're done. and ugly. they will not go on trays because a) they are ugly, b) they are hard to make and one batch does not make many and c) i feel like anise in this form-- that is, straight up anise seeds on the cookies-- will get all into everything on the tray. besides, i really only made them because when i asked my dad for his cookie preferences he said pinwheels which i think are about the dullest cookie in the world. which? i'm making tonight!

springerle's will get better, i'm sure. coming up: peanut butter cookies (with comparison shots of the traditional fork-cross decorating and our pretty-bottomed glass decorating!), the battle of oatmeal no-raisin and pinwheels. after that, i take a quick break from cookies, but i'll be cooking mini cheesy biscuits, twice-baked new potatoes, spinach dip, white bean hummus and deviled eggs.

christmas cookies 2008

on the first day of modern christmas, also known as black friday, i hit the stores like every other nutcase. only i had them almost all to myself. i was at the grocery stores.

i went to the local supermarket first, hoping to buy everything in one shot. i was mostly prepared. i had edited last year's list (removing cookies that didn't work out, adding some new ones, changing amounts) and mapped out the recipes on my christmas cookie spreadsheet. what, you don't do that? huh.

i estimated, generously, how much i'd need of everything and prepared a comprehensive list of things i needed to buy. it is as follows:

• rolled oats
• 10 pounds flour (i already had 5)
• 1 bag confectioners sugar
• 10 pounds granulated sugar
• 4 pounds brown sugar
• 24 teaspoons vanilla extract (who said my system is perfect? i bought two bottles of the store brand and i hope it's enough. if not, i think trader joe's brand is cheaper, actually.)
• almond extract
• 18 ounces of milk chocolate chips
• 48 ounces of semisweet chocolate chips
• 28 ounces of white chocolate chips
• 1.5 cups slivered almonds (i take the shortcuts as they come)
• 2 cups walnuts
• 1.5 cups unsalted macadamia nuts
• 2 cups dried cranberries
• 3 chocolate-orange cake mixes
• a lemon
• candy canes
• peanut butter
• seedless raspberry jam
• 13 pounds of butter
• 4 dozen eggs

so, i bought nearly all of it at the supermarket and then moved on to trader joe's. there i bought the butter (because it was, like $1.30 cheaper per pound, and that adds up when you're buying thirteen!), the almonds, the macadamia nuts, the eggs ($1.50 cheaper, at least, i forget the exact amount), the white chocolate chips and the milk chocolate chips (i try to avoid buying either hershey or nestle for political reasons. i bought store-brand semisweet.) and tried to buy the chocolate-orange cake mixes. but they didn't have them. so i might have to actually make my biscotti dough, which might mean more flour and definitely means a trip to the supermarket for orange essence.

there was other stuff, too, of course. stuff i already had (mostly not shown):

• instant coffee
• 3 ounces semisweet bakers chocolate
• molasses
• light corn syrup
• decorating sugar
• vegetable oil
• cream of tartar
• anise seeds
• cinnamon, cloves, ginger
• gluten-free flour

and stuff i wasn't sure would keep until i had that confection scheduled, namely, heavy cream. which i can buy next door or at any supermarket/grocery/dairy store. so i'm not worried.

i also picked up some decorating frosting in little tubes and what appear to be markers for use on... food. creepy. but possibly very useful for the making of gingerbread people with a four year old. and a boneless turkey breast-thing, a box of stuffing and a ritter sport bar (totally for bill)

cookie-related shopping came in about $14 under budget (without the cake mixes and heavy cream, though) and $11 over estimate (so far). but really, good enough for me!

next up, look for springerle cookies (which i've actually already baked) and 4 batches of peanut butter cookies (which i'm baking tonight as soon as i get the pretty-bottomed glass from my mom-- i'll explain later).