my entire life, my daddy has been responsible for eating-- and enjoying-- every, single, ugly, ridiculous thing i've baked. it's pretty much his sworn duty. even when it's a "cake" that took three hours in the easybake oven and is frosted black, and not by using chocolate frosting and black food dye (oh, yeah, they have that!), but mixing all the colors together. mmmmm, delicious, sweetie.
for whatever reason, i've been having a slightly bad run with cookies this year. my peanut butter cookies are a little too short and hard. (but pretty, damn it!) my first tray of oatmeal cookies spread too much and browned too much. my pinwheels are three different sizes (totally my fault). my first tray of sugar cookies stuck to my greased cookie sheets. so did my first batch of slightly misshapen spritzes. my second go at sugar cookies came out beautiful but my second batch of spritzes came out horribly misshapen. horribly.
ugly or slightly irregular cookies do not go on trays. they're called husband cookies. we feed them to our husbands. (i know, you think you want to feel bad for the poor husbands eating ugly or irregular cookies all month-- don't. they're eating delicious, homemade cookies all month, okay?) i make so many husband cookies that bill has to spread the wealth a little bit. hence the concept: daddy cookies.
last night i made a whole batch of husband/daddy spritzes. a whole batch. that's, like, six dozen. they're perfect in every other way, but all kinds of ugly. i don't know why. my press is messed up-- there's too much pressure or something-- it's really hard to press out the cookies and dough leaks, spills, really, in between cookies, leaving little cookie tails. and, to top it all off, somehow, the christmas tree plate broke. it's broken. unusable. do you think wilton sells them individually? no. wilton and i are totally in a fight. except... i really want a couple of food dye sets (the 12-pack, the 8-pack, primary, pastel and garden tones, and maybe throw in some white-white, no-taste red and copper), one of those spinny cake holders, a frosting spatula and... and... a cordless electric cookie press.
for now? i soldier on. chocolate-orange-almond biscotti tonight. (chocoralmond, for short.)
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