irish milk stout bread (or: beer for breakfast)

oh, hai! how do you like the detail on that picture? can you practically taste the beery goodness? or perhaps your screen isn't hd. mine is. because i have a new! fast! laptop! and a new! shiny! camera! and a new! fancy! mobile! hotspot! thus, i am blogging in bed and drooling over the pics of this irish porter bread which i actually made with a milk stout. mmmmmm. in order to keep myself in fancy technology upgrades, and creatively fulfilled, i'm back in the kitchen making sure daddy & bill still love me enough to give me fancy, spill-proof keyboards and a better camera than the one i gave a shower to. okay, TWO showers.

ingredients:

• 3 cups whole wheat flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon EACH ground cloves, nutmeg and cinnamon. and allspice if you have that. i don't.
• 1 cup unsalted butter
• 1 1/4 cups brown sugar
• 1/2 a bottle of porter or stout
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 2 beaten eggs

prep:

• warm up your beer
• grease 2 8-inch round cake pans
• preheat to 350*

actual cooking:

• combine flour, salt & spices
• work in butter with a pastry cutter or your hands
• add sugar
• make a well in the mixture
• combine beer & baking soda
• pour the liquid & eggs into the well and still until just combined
• divide between pans
• bake for 20 minutes and then reduce heat to 300*
• bake for another 40ish minutes until bread pulls away from the sides of the pan
• enjoy warm or room temperature with the rest of the beer

what i ate on my summer vacation

Click here to view these pictures larger

super-easy spinach lasagna

so... my camera? is still deadish. oh, yeah, i do have a warranty. and... i did call. okay, and they have sent me the shipping label, but... go to a ups store? oh, that sounds like a lot of work.

on top of that, geesh. i've got so much to do. first and foremost, i have to finish reading the discworld books before i start grad school. and yes, i DO MEAN that that project is a high priority. i'm doing a bunch of other boring life stuff, too, like gearing up to move (eventually), paying down student loans, fafsa applications for NEW student loans, et cetera, et cetera.

but! don't feel sad! blogging isn't the only thing i'm not doing much of! i'm also not COOKING much! yes! really! bill cooks dinner almost every night lately, and, let me tell you, i may never tire of grilled meat & grilled veg dinners. SO. GOOD.

i did make a spinach lasagna last night, though, which makes me feel good because it feeds us for three days so that's almost like i cooked THREE dinners. plus, it's vegetarian, low-fat, high-protein, super-easy and recession-friendly ($13 for three dinners for 2 = less than $2.50 a meal). and freaking yummy.

so... you can make one, too.

ingredients:

• about a half package of no boil lasagna noodles
• a jar (25 ounces or so) of your choice tomato gravy
• a 20-ounce bag of frozen spinach
• 8 ounces shredded part-skim mozzarella
  
• 15 ounces part-skim ricotta
• 1 large egg

prep: gloriously none!

actual cooking:

• beat together the egg & ricotta
• coat the bottom of an 8x13 pan with gravy
• add a layer of noodles
• add a layer of ricotta
• add a layer of spinach
• add a sprinkle of gravy
• add a sprinkle of mozzarella
• repeat the whole layering process twice more, topping with noodles, gravy & mozzarella
• bake for 45-60 minutes covered in foil (until the last 10 or so) at 350*
• blog it and feel like you actually did something.

tres leches cake

oh, god, i've been planning, organizing, cooking and blogging these TWO meals for weeks. will anyone blame me if i just link to pioneer woman's recipe for tres leches cake? because it's the recipe i used, right up until i was supposed to make my own whipped cream. frosting that cake was the last thing i had to do in a fooding process that involved two spreadsheets, four grocery stores, a fish milkshake, inhaling mccormick's barbecue seasoning, hands and eyes burning with chili juice, a five am trip to a diner i'm still recovering from, ingredients i'd never heard of and a five-gallon spring mix salad i forgot to serve. so i used a can of whipped cream. sue me.

on that note: daddy.

ceviche

holy shit i fed my family raw fish. no kidding.

okay, it's chemically cooked or whatever but this is a big step for me: i touched it. to be perfectly honest, i was near tears the entire time, but uncle jim came through big time for me because the stuff still had skin and that was really more than i was prepared to handle. by the way, bill suggests that it is perhaps not encouraging to say things like, "i can't believe that's food" to the people you're cooking for. noted.

ingredients:

• 1 cup fresh key lime juice from fresh key limes that you juiced (or that your husband and brother juiced)
• 2/3 cup clam juice (from a bottle, THANK GOD)
• 1/3 cup chopped celery
• 1 cup matchstick-sized strips red onion
• 1 1/2 tbs fresh ginger (peeled)
• 1 garlic clove, peeled
• 1 1/2 pounds cubed mahi mahi, tilapia or chilean sea bass fillet
• 6 tbs fresh cilantro
• 2 tsp salt
• 2 minced aji chilis

prep work:

• juice key limes
• chop & measure everything
• peel, cube and mince
• seriously, everything

actual cooking (eh, it's relative):

• toss lime juice, clam juice, celery, a bit of red onion, the ginger and the garlic in the blender
• add a small handful of fish (1/2 cupish), 4 tbs cilantro & 1 1/2 tsp salt
• puree. a lot.
• strain the world's grossest milkshake into a glass bowl, pressing down on solids
• add the remaining fish, cilantro, salt, chili and red onion
• cover and chill for 2 hours, stirring occasionally

this recipe is both easier and harder than it looks. frankly, it's a whole hell of a lot of prep work, but then, it just sort of... happens. the fish was visibly cooked within an hour in the juice. (it was opaque, that's how we knew.)

i hope at this point columbus was turning little flip-flops in his grave. otherwise all my hard work and squeeming was for naught.

lomo saltado

more from our ironic columbus day peruvian feast...


ingredients:

• 3 pounds frozen french fries
• 2 lbs beef tenderloin (i bought "stir fry beef" in strips)
• 2 tsp ground cumin
• pinch of cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
• oil for stir frying
• 1 Tbs. minced garlic
• 1-2 thai red chile or fresno chili, seeded and finely minced (i could find neither so i settled for anaheim chilis-- that's near fresno, right?)
• salt
• 1 tsp red wine vinegar
• 2 medium red onions, halved lengthwise and sliced crosswise ½ inch thick
• 1 ½ lb plum tomatoes halved, seeded and cut into sixths
• 3 aji peppers, seeded and finely sliced
• 6 tbs soy sauce
• 4 tbs freshly chopped cilantro
• (steamed white rice on the side. yes, seriously, fries AND rice.)
  

prep:

• bake fries according to package directions, keep warm in the oven
• chop & measure everything
• toss beef with pepper, cinnamon, cumin and 1 tbs soy sauce

actual cooking:

• over medium heat, in your largest frying pan or wok, heat oil to cover the bottom
• saute garlic and chili for 2 minutes
• add beef and turn heat up to high
• season with salt and remove to a large casserole
• stir fry onion
• add salt & pepper
• add some vinegar and fry until evaporated, then repeat
• remove onion to casserole with beef
• repeat vinegar thing with tomatoes
• return beef and all to the pan
• add ajies and remaining soy sauce
• add cilantro and toss
• serve over fries (with rice)
  

leonardo celebrates columbus day with lomos saltado, pappas rellenas, sea bass ceviche and an inca cola or four. and promises that the meal reminded him of when he was "a wee baby."

pappas rellenas

sunday afternoon (at "italian time"-- which is NOT the actual, politically-correct terminology the mimer uses-- 1pm) we enjoyed an ironic native feast for columbus day. it was meant to be a peruvian feast, but apparently pappas rellenas is cuban and mexican tres leches cake was irresistible, but it was still ironic, damnit!


i remember eating something very like pappas rellenas the first time i went to a peruvian restaurant. i don't recall it being deep fried (nor were these, and that was a mistake) or spicy, but i was probably ten and it wasn't beef heart or raw fish, so i counted it a success.



ingredients:

• 8 large potatoes
• 1/2 finely chopped onion
• 1 finely chopped green bell pepper
• 3 cloves minced garlic
• 1 pound lean ground beef
• 1 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 tsp cumin
• 1 tsp pepper
• 4 tsp tomato paste (half a can?)
• 1 tbs vinegar
• 4 beaten eggs
• bread crumbs
• flour
  

prep:

• mince & chop

actual cooking:

• boil potatoes
• mash with 1/2 tsp salt (no fat or liquid) and allow to cool
• in a large frying pan, saute onions & green pepper until limpish
• add garlic, beef, remaining salt, pepper, cumin, tomato paste & vinegar
• cook until meat is done
• allow to cool
• okay, now, take a handful of potato and split it in half (i went slightly smaller than a tennis ball cause i don't have all day)
• flatten each half
• cup the palm of your non-dominant hand and lay one disc of potato in it
• add a spoonful of meat
• put the other disc on top and press into a ball
• repeat until the potatoes are gone (you might have leftover meat-- i did)
• roll each ball in flour, then egg, then breadcrumbs-- at this point, you might enjoy enlisting the help of any uncles you have laying around while you move on to... another meal entirely (thanks, joe!)
• chill for a couple hours
• deep fry until golden or bake (sprayed with oil) at about 350* for a half hour or so

baked falafel

i've made falafel from a mix before, all re-hydrated and deep-fried (and kosher!), but this recipe for falafel that was baked instead of fried intrigued me. besides, i'm totally ready to amp up my game. and... my food processor was still on the counter from a fight i had with some blueberry bars last weekend.

um, and then i read the read the recipe beyond its title and saw that it does take a little pan-frying, but also bakes, which calls for a cast iron skillet, if you ask me.



ingredients:

• 1 can (15-16 ounces) chickpeas, rinsed
• 1/4 cup chopped onion
• 1/4 cup parsley
• 1 tsp minced garlic
• 1 tsp ground cumin
• 1/4 tsp ground coriander
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp baking soda
• 1 tbs flour

prep:

• preheat oven to 400*
• chop your onion & garlic, but don't go crazy because you're putting them in the food processor, jackass
• rinse & drain your beans

actual cooking:

• pulse beans, onion, garlic, parsley, spices, salt & baking soda in the food processor until combined but still a little grainy (i went past this and my falafel had the consistency of... i don't know what. toothpaste. spicey toothpaste.)
• stir flour in by hand
• form into four patties and let them rest for fifteen minutes
  

• (this is a good time to put your cauliflower in the oven, generously sprayed with olive oil, and start your israeli cous cous going on the stovetop.)
• spray cast iron skillet with olive oil and set heat to medium-high
• fry patties about 2 minutes on each side
  

• transfer skillet to the oven and bake for 10 minutes
  
  
  

easter pie OR pizza rustica OR calzone

we call this dish calzone-- but we say ghav-uh-zoon-- and we pretty much live for easter so we can have it. we love it so much we'd make is other times of year, but you can only get basket cheese at easter, so we can't. because of the magnitude of this project, we have to do it at my mother's house where there are three ovens, and the occasional excitable teenaged brother willing to forgo book learnin' to get elbow deep in family tradition for an afternoon.

dough ingredients:

• 20 cups of flour (plus more for dusting)
• 2 tbs baking powder
• 2 tbs salt
• 6 cups vegetable shortening ("crisco: it's digestible!")
• 19 eggs
• 3/4 cup ice water
• egg wash (milk & 2 beaten eggs)

filling ingredients:

• 3 pounds sweet italian sausage, out of the case, browned
• 3 pounds ham, diced
• 1 pounds soprasotta, thick-sliced, diced
• 1 pound proscuitto, thick-sliced, diced
• 1 pound ricotta cheese
• 1 basket cheese, diced
• 20 hard boiled eggs, diced
• chopped fresh parsley
• 6 eggs

prep:

• hard boil 24 eggs, chop 20 of them and set aside
• brown sausage
• dice meats & basket cheese
• combine meats
  

• combine dry ingredients for dough

• blend in shortening
  

• add eggs & water
• blend thoroughly
• turn out and knead (or massagia)
  
  
  
• add basket cheese & parsley to meat
  
  
  
• preheat oven(s) to 375*
• break for a lovely lunch of egg salad sandwiches (those last 4 eggs!), carrots and limeade. it's traditional.
  

• add hard boiled eggs to meat
  

• add raw eggs & ricotta to meat
  

actual cooking:

• roll out dough into large circles

• paint egg wash around edges
• pile half with filling
• fold other half over
• crimp edges
• move to a greased baking sheet
• brush with egg wash
• vent

• bake at 375* until browned and bubbling
• cool for 5-10 minutes (depending on the size) on the sheet
• move to a rack to cool completely
• serve lukewarm or cold
  

this recipe made 2 extra larges (about 16"x8"), 7 larges (about 10"x5") and 6 smalls (about 8"x4"). that's a lot. but somehow, we always need as many as we make. they freeze so well that we usually have one in january to hold us over.

mu shu vegetables

mu shu vegetables is about my favorite meal currently, up there with veggie fried rice and veggie lo mein, so i had to take a stab at making it. in fact, i stabbed so close to the mark i just may have to stab and stab and stab until i get it right.

ingredients:

• 1 small shredded carrot
• 1 head of cabbage shredded
• (or a bag or two of cole slaw mix)
• 1 small onion in thin wedges
• (optional: handful of mung)
• (optional: sliced mushrooms)
• (optional: handful of chopped green onion)
• (optional: 2 beaten eggs)
• flour tortillas and/or rice
• hoisin sauce
• water

prep:

• slice & dice until everything is more or less the same size

actual cooking:

• (scramble eggs, set aside)
• (set rice to cooking. 1:2 rice to water, pinch of salt, bring to a boil, lower to a loooooow simmer and cover)
• saute carrots in a little water for 2-3 minutes
• add cabbage, continue sauteeing 2-3 minutes
• add mung, onions, green onions, mushrooms, whatever else (not egg), saute for 2-3 minutes
• allow liquid to evaporate
• add 2 tbs hoisin sauce, cook for 1-2 minutes
• add egg back in, stir
• warm tortillas in the microwave for 10 seconds each

we ate this with trader joe's chicken egg rolls (which you want to pierce all the way through before baking, and spray with oil), which are a staple in my asian cooking and will probably stay that way since last week's spring roll experiment was a massive FAIL.

it was a little sweet, and i'm thinking... soy sauce? garlic? i don't know. maybe i just need to use bok choy instead of the pre-shredded cabbage. it was still good enough that the leftovers are my lunch today.

fastnachts: mardi gras pennsylvania dutch style

mardi gras, fat tuesday, fatty/fattening tuesday, shrove tuesday, pancake day, fastnacht day or paczki day is the day before ash wednesday when, depending on your language and tradition, you use up all the "luxurious" ingredients in your pantry before lent starts and they all go to waste, by making doughnuts, pancakes, crepes or parade floats. you know, those luxuries like eggs, butter and sugar.

the pennsylvania dutch call their doughnuts fastnachts (yeah, that means "fast night" as in "fast and abstain" not "i blacked out!" that's more mardi gras...) and make them without holes and out of potatoes. i didn't really make fastnachts. i made doughnuts without holes. close enough.

i started with the black & white donut hole recipe from williams-sonoma. then i doubled it and cut the bullshit.

ingredients:

• 7 cups flour, plus 1/2-1 cup for dusting
• 1 tbs baking powder
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 4 eggs
• 4 cups sugar (2 for the dough, 2 for coating)
• 2 cups buttermilk
• 1/4 cup (half a stick or 4 tbs) unsalted butter, melted & cooled
• vegetable oil for deep frying

prep:

• sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon & salt
• beat eggs until frothy
• add 2 cups sugar to eggs and beat until lemony-yellow
• add buttermilk & butter to egg mixture
• pour egg mixture into the center of dry mixture and combine to form a very soft, sticky dough
• roll out to 1/3 inch on a generously floured board
• cut out 3-inch circles & 1-inch circles
• refrigerate overnight

actual cooking:

• heat 3 inches of oil in a large saucepan or deep fryer if you can get your hand's on one (thanks mom!) to 380*
• fry doughnuts in small batches

• turning frequently until golden (about 5 minutes)
  

• remove from oil with a skimmer
• deposit on paper to drain
  
  
• put remaining sugar in a paper bag
• drop in warm doughnuts & shake to coat
  
  
• wake up your loved ones
  
  

i started frying at 3:45 this morning, had my doughnuts packed up for delivery (3 1/2 dozen regular ones + a few dozen little ones) by 5. i was eagerly greeted at the door by della, dottie & ginger (the dogs). ginger even mustered the strength to jump from the floor to the dining room table without a chair stop-over for the first time in her 12 years to snag a bite. everyone seems pretty happy with the results. as a matter of fact, the only person who got doughnuts that i haven't heard from today is anthony.

falafel & israeli cous cous

tonight we had falafel & israeli cous cous for dinner. SO yummy. and EASY. possibly because i cheated.

ingredients:

• falafel mix (this is the cheating part... available in your grocer's "ethnic" section)
• olive oil
• water
• israeli cous cous (different from regular cous cous)

prep:

• combine falafel mix with water as directed (manichevitz brand wants 1/2 cup water to one packet mix)
• let stand ten minutes

actual cooking:

• in a small sauce pan lightly brown 2/3 cups cous cous in a tablespoon of olive oil, stirring frequently for about five minutes
• add about 1 cup (a smidge less) water, bring to boil, turn way down and cover (check occasionally so you don't burn it!)
• set about 1/2 inch of oil in a pan to heat
• roll falafel mix into one inch balls
• fry falafel in oil until browned (you'll have to turn them once and maybe roll them around a bit if you went light on the oil like i did which is kinda pointless since you're DEEP FRYING for christsakes!)
• remove falafel and drain on paper towels

SO GOOD. seriously. but israeli cous cous has NO TASTE. a tiny sprinkle of sea salt made it perfect, since the falafel was kinda spicy. if you thought ahead about this meal, you might want it to have, oh, i dunno, a vegetable? or something? i think wilted baby spinach would be perfect. you could dump your falafel oil, not clean the pan, and toss in the spinach while the falafel drains. yum!

(spell check HATES this recipe.)

serves 2 or 3, depending on your eaters.