blueberry crumb bars

these easy bar cookies (er... bar pies?) were a big hit with my brothers on fathers' day. we had them for dessert, but leftovers made nice breakfasts. you'll need a half-sheet cake pan to make this size (a double crust, 1.5 times filling). i found them at allrecipes.com.

crumb ingredients:

• 2 cups butter or shortening
• 2 cups granulated sugar
• 6 cups flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 2 eggs
• pinch salt
• pinch cinnamon

filling ingredients:

• 4 cups blueberries (fresh or frozen)
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 2 tbs cornstarch

prep:

• preheat oven to 375*
• line a half-sheet pan with foil & grease

actual cooking:

• combine dry crumb ingredients in a bowl
• work in fat as for pie crust
• add eggs (mixture will remain crumbly)
• combine blues, sugar & cornstarch in a bowl
• spread 1/2 crumb mixture in pan
• spread filling in pan
• cover with the other half of the crumb mixture
• bake for 45 minutes
• allow to cool completely before removing from pan

i'm never making a real pie again!

monkey bread

i bet there's a better way to make monkey bread, but this one was SO EASY (especially since i had some slave labor to roll the dough into balls and coat it in cinnamon sugar) that i need to the the interwebs about it.

ingredients:

• 3 cans of buttermilk biscuits
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 cup butter or margarine
• 1 tbs cinnamon

prep:

• grease a bundt pan
• preheat oven to 350*

actual cooking:

• mix granulated sugar and cinnamon in a bowl
• melt butter, add brown sugar and bring to a boil (keep warm)
• cut (or tear) each biscuit into quarters
• in small batches, lightly shape the pieces into balls, roll in sugar mixture and add to the pan (next time, i would drizzle some of the butter mixture and some more cinnamon sugar on each layer)
• cover with butter mixture
• bake for 35-40 minutes
• let cool for 10-20 minutes

this was a roaring success. which is good, because the cheesecake i made that night had the texture of tapioca pudding... and i'm not sure why. whoops.

hearty banana muffins

this is a huge cheat of a recipe since the main ingredient is a banana bread mix. but, LO! some lady made a damn fortune writing books about making box cakes, so bear with me, k?

ingredients:

• banana bread mix (mine was trader joe's, naturally)
• 1 cup oats
• 1 cup apple sauce
• 1/3 cup egg whites OR 2 large eggs

prep:

• none, this recipe takes ten minutes
• oh, and preheat to 325*

actual cooking:

• combine ingredients in a bowl
• spoon into lined muffin tin (i did 12 regular-sized muffins)
• bake for 30 minutes

the recipe on the box (with eggs & oil) makes nine servings at something like 370 calories each. my recipe make 12 at 175 each. good deal, right? plus, mine have way more fiber since neither eggs nor oil have fiber, but applesauce and oat sure do. but i didn't do that math.

fastnachts: mardi gras pennsylvania dutch style

mardi gras, fat tuesday, fatty/fattening tuesday, shrove tuesday, pancake day, fastnacht day or paczki day is the day before ash wednesday when, depending on your language and tradition, you use up all the "luxurious" ingredients in your pantry before lent starts and they all go to waste, by making doughnuts, pancakes, crepes or parade floats. you know, those luxuries like eggs, butter and sugar.

the pennsylvania dutch call their doughnuts fastnachts (yeah, that means "fast night" as in "fast and abstain" not "i blacked out!" that's more mardi gras...) and make them without holes and out of potatoes. i didn't really make fastnachts. i made doughnuts without holes. close enough.

i started with the black & white donut hole recipe from williams-sonoma. then i doubled it and cut the bullshit.

ingredients:

• 7 cups flour, plus 1/2-1 cup for dusting
• 1 tbs baking powder
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 4 eggs
• 4 cups sugar (2 for the dough, 2 for coating)
• 2 cups buttermilk
• 1/4 cup (half a stick or 4 tbs) unsalted butter, melted & cooled
• vegetable oil for deep frying

prep:

• sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon & salt
• beat eggs until frothy
• add 2 cups sugar to eggs and beat until lemony-yellow
• add buttermilk & butter to egg mixture
• pour egg mixture into the center of dry mixture and combine to form a very soft, sticky dough
• roll out to 1/3 inch on a generously floured board
• cut out 3-inch circles & 1-inch circles
• refrigerate overnight

actual cooking:

• heat 3 inches of oil in a large saucepan or deep fryer if you can get your hand's on one (thanks mom!) to 380*
• fry doughnuts in small batches

• turning frequently until golden (about 5 minutes)
  

• remove from oil with a skimmer
• deposit on paper to drain
  
  
• put remaining sugar in a paper bag
• drop in warm doughnuts & shake to coat
  
  
• wake up your loved ones
  
  

i started frying at 3:45 this morning, had my doughnuts packed up for delivery (3 1/2 dozen regular ones + a few dozen little ones) by 5. i was eagerly greeted at the door by della, dottie & ginger (the dogs). ginger even mustered the strength to jump from the floor to the dining room table without a chair stop-over for the first time in her 12 years to snag a bite. everyone seems pretty happy with the results. as a matter of fact, the only person who got doughnuts that i haven't heard from today is anthony.