pappas rellenas

sunday afternoon (at "italian time"-- which is NOT the actual, politically-correct terminology the mimer uses-- 1pm) we enjoyed an ironic native feast for columbus day. it was meant to be a peruvian feast, but apparently pappas rellenas is cuban and mexican tres leches cake was irresistible, but it was still ironic, damnit!


i remember eating something very like pappas rellenas the first time i went to a peruvian restaurant. i don't recall it being deep fried (nor were these, and that was a mistake) or spicy, but i was probably ten and it wasn't beef heart or raw fish, so i counted it a success.



ingredients:

• 8 large potatoes
• 1/2 finely chopped onion
• 1 finely chopped green bell pepper
• 3 cloves minced garlic
• 1 pound lean ground beef
• 1 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 tsp cumin
• 1 tsp pepper
• 4 tsp tomato paste (half a can?)
• 1 tbs vinegar
• 4 beaten eggs
• bread crumbs
• flour
  

prep:

• mince & chop

actual cooking:

• boil potatoes
• mash with 1/2 tsp salt (no fat or liquid) and allow to cool
• in a large frying pan, saute onions & green pepper until limpish
• add garlic, beef, remaining salt, pepper, cumin, tomato paste & vinegar
• cook until meat is done
• allow to cool
• okay, now, take a handful of potato and split it in half (i went slightly smaller than a tennis ball cause i don't have all day)
• flatten each half
• cup the palm of your non-dominant hand and lay one disc of potato in it
• add a spoonful of meat
• put the other disc on top and press into a ball
• repeat until the potatoes are gone (you might have leftover meat-- i did)
• roll each ball in flour, then egg, then breadcrumbs-- at this point, you might enjoy enlisting the help of any uncles you have laying around while you move on to... another meal entirely (thanks, joe!)
• chill for a couple hours
• deep fry until golden or bake (sprayed with oil) at about 350* for a half hour or so

smack & cheese

to go with saturday's ribs, i made a classic mac & cheese, the way my mama taught me when i was about eleven. sure, i could use fancy cheeses or put bread crumbs on top, but the only alterations to this recipe i can get behind are 1) fresh ground sea salt & pepper and 2) more interesting macaroni than elbows-- mom uses whatever she's got, i like cavatappi or pipetti.

this is for a standard-sized batch, though i made double this over the weekend (in case of hungry marines, naturally).

ingredients:

• 1 stick of butter
• 1/2 cup flour
• sea salt & pepper
• 1 quart milk (whatever kind you like is fine)
• 1/2 pound american cheese, torn into shreds
• 1/2 pound cheddar cheese, shredded
• 1 pound pasta

prep:

• preheat oven to 350*
• shred cheese
• cook pasta according to package instructions

actual cooking:

• melt butter in a large saucepan
• add flour and whisk until combined (this is your roux)
• add milk and whisk until smooth (now you have bechamel!)
• add salt & pepper
• slowly add cheese
• pour cheese into pasta or pasta into cheese & combine
• pour the whole shebang into a casserole and bake until as brown as you like it
  

guest blogger: mama's deliciousest brussels sprouts with bacon

This is so easy it's not really even a recipe.


Cut the brussels sprouts in half lengthwise. Microwave them, covered, with a little bit of water for about 5 - 7 minutes. They should be brighter green and a little softer than they were to start with. Then chop about 3 strips of bacon and microwave or fry till crisp. Toss the bacon and about 1/2 of the drippings with the sprouts. Throw in some pine nuts. Roast uncovered at 350 degrees for about 40 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes or so. They should be a little bit brown and roasty looking. Taste for seasoning. Depending on how salty the bacon is, you might need salt.

uncle jim's absolutely deadly babyback ribs

over the weekend, we popped down to manassas, virginia, to visit my uncles jim & frank, and my brother j who's staying with them while he settles into his new job. during a whirlwind of construction, destruction and beer, jim found the time to teach me how to make his magical baby back ribs. i, in turn, made sure that if the marines happened to be hungry, we could feed them.

ingredients:

• onions-- for each full pan of ribs, i'd say 10 onions
• ribs
• st. louis dry rub or similar

prep:

• preheat oven to 300* 5-6 hours before you want to eat

actual cooking:

• peel & quarter onions to completely cover the bottom of the pan
• lay ribs over the onions & generously apply dry rub/seasoning
• cover with foil and cook for 5 hours until meat is falling off the bone
• no, seriously, it's that easy
  

(uncle joe was there, too, and was a tremendous help to me in the kitchen when my sous chef had to go see a zombie movie with his brothers-in-law.)

i don't eat ribs, as a rule, because of the BARBECUE SAUCE. these? nom.

kev agrees.

green bean salad

ingredients:

• 2 pounds green beans
• 1/4 of a red onion, matchstick-sized
• olive oil
• lemon juice

prep:

• end the beans

actual cooking:

• blanch the beans in boiling water for 1-2 minutes until BRIGHT GREEN
• toss with onions, oil & lemon juice
  

BRIGHT GREEN, mkay?

pear-champagne cupcakes

i found this recipe through the lovely and talented lexa. it's perfect for if you need an excuse to drink most of a bottle of cheap sparkling wine alone in your jammies.

and for your mother's birthday.


cake ingredients:

• 2 3/4 cups flour
• 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
• pinch of salt
• 1 cup softened butter
• 2 cups sugar
• 3 eggs
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 3 pears
• 1 cup sparkling wine (j. roget "champange" in this case)

frosting ingredients:

• 1/4 cup softened butter (no, seriously, if it's not really softened it will be gross)
• 8 ounces cream cheese, softened
• 3 cups confectioners sugar
• splash "champagne"
  

prep work:

• preheat to 350*
• peel & quarter pears
• grate them in the food processor, ohmygod, not by hand
• combine flour, salt & baking powder

actual cooking:

• beat together sugar & butter
• beat in eggs one at a time
• add dry mixture
• add vanilla & "champagne"
• add pear
• distribute into lined muffin tins-- they won't rise much, so feel free to fill them a bit more than usual
• bake until a toothpick comes out cleanish (lexa says 12-15 minutes, my experience was more like 25)
• beat together frosting ingredients
• frost
• use leftover frosting to take a funny picture of any brave soul you can convince to eat frosting at nine am to star on your blog (thanks, pop)
• have four beers and forget to take a picture of, oh, i dunno, your mom blowing out her birthday candle or ANYTHING
  

perfect bownies with a side of my words

mimi gave me a brownie pan that has a removable bottom AND a grid that settles into your batter and bakes up 12 perfectly-shaped, pre-cut brownies.

i'm not gonna lie to you, interwebs, i made fun of her. i poked fun of my grandmother. i did it. because everybody likes the middle pieces best! and i have a knife! and geez, they're only brownies!

but, interwebs, i am contrite. take a good hard look at that brownie (on a pedestal, just where it belongs) and tell me it isn't worth the multi-step process. have you ever seen such a beauty??

ingredients:

• 4 ounces unsweetened, semisweet or bittersweet chocolate (that's 2/3 cups chips)
• 1 1/2 sticks of butter
• 2 cups sugar
• 3 eggs
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 cup flour

prep:

• spray all the parts of your gorgeous new chicago metallic brownie pan with oil/baking spray
• preheat oven to 350*

actual cooking:

• nuke butter and chocolate for 2 minutes until butter is melted
• stir until chocolate is melted

• add sugar & combine

• add eggs & vanilla
• combine

• add flour
• combine

• assemble pan with bottom

• pour in batter
• tap it gently on the counter

• lower in the grid

• bake for 35 minutes
• cool briefly in the pan
• remove grid gently
• transfer pan bottom to a wire rack to cool completely

thank you, thank you, thank you, mimi!