guest blogger: mama's deliciousest brussels sprouts with bacon

This is so easy it's not really even a recipe.


Cut the brussels sprouts in half lengthwise. Microwave them, covered, with a little bit of water for about 5 - 7 minutes. They should be brighter green and a little softer than they were to start with. Then chop about 3 strips of bacon and microwave or fry till crisp. Toss the bacon and about 1/2 of the drippings with the sprouts. Throw in some pine nuts. Roast uncovered at 350 degrees for about 40 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes or so. They should be a little bit brown and roasty looking. Taste for seasoning. Depending on how salty the bacon is, you might need salt.

uncle jim's absolutely deadly babyback ribs

over the weekend, we popped down to manassas, virginia, to visit my uncles jim & frank, and my brother j who's staying with them while he settles into his new job. during a whirlwind of construction, destruction and beer, jim found the time to teach me how to make his magical baby back ribs. i, in turn, made sure that if the marines happened to be hungry, we could feed them.

ingredients:

• onions-- for each full pan of ribs, i'd say 10 onions
• ribs
• st. louis dry rub or similar

prep:

• preheat oven to 300* 5-6 hours before you want to eat

actual cooking:

• peel & quarter onions to completely cover the bottom of the pan
• lay ribs over the onions & generously apply dry rub/seasoning
• cover with foil and cook for 5 hours until meat is falling off the bone
• no, seriously, it's that easy
  

(uncle joe was there, too, and was a tremendous help to me in the kitchen when my sous chef had to go see a zombie movie with his brothers-in-law.)

i don't eat ribs, as a rule, because of the BARBECUE SAUCE. these? nom.

kev agrees.

green bean salad

ingredients:

• 2 pounds green beans
• 1/4 of a red onion, matchstick-sized
• olive oil
• lemon juice

prep:

• end the beans

actual cooking:

• blanch the beans in boiling water for 1-2 minutes until BRIGHT GREEN
• toss with onions, oil & lemon juice
  

BRIGHT GREEN, mkay?

pear-champagne cupcakes

i found this recipe through the lovely and talented lexa. it's perfect for if you need an excuse to drink most of a bottle of cheap sparkling wine alone in your jammies.

and for your mother's birthday.


cake ingredients:

• 2 3/4 cups flour
• 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
• pinch of salt
• 1 cup softened butter
• 2 cups sugar
• 3 eggs
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 3 pears
• 1 cup sparkling wine (j. roget "champange" in this case)

frosting ingredients:

• 1/4 cup softened butter (no, seriously, if it's not really softened it will be gross)
• 8 ounces cream cheese, softened
• 3 cups confectioners sugar
• splash "champagne"
  

prep work:

• preheat to 350*
• peel & quarter pears
• grate them in the food processor, ohmygod, not by hand
• combine flour, salt & baking powder

actual cooking:

• beat together sugar & butter
• beat in eggs one at a time
• add dry mixture
• add vanilla & "champagne"
• add pear
• distribute into lined muffin tins-- they won't rise much, so feel free to fill them a bit more than usual
• bake until a toothpick comes out cleanish (lexa says 12-15 minutes, my experience was more like 25)
• beat together frosting ingredients
• frost
• use leftover frosting to take a funny picture of any brave soul you can convince to eat frosting at nine am to star on your blog (thanks, pop)
• have four beers and forget to take a picture of, oh, i dunno, your mom blowing out her birthday candle or ANYTHING
  

perfect bownies with a side of my words

mimi gave me a brownie pan that has a removable bottom AND a grid that settles into your batter and bakes up 12 perfectly-shaped, pre-cut brownies.

i'm not gonna lie to you, interwebs, i made fun of her. i poked fun of my grandmother. i did it. because everybody likes the middle pieces best! and i have a knife! and geez, they're only brownies!

but, interwebs, i am contrite. take a good hard look at that brownie (on a pedestal, just where it belongs) and tell me it isn't worth the multi-step process. have you ever seen such a beauty??

ingredients:

• 4 ounces unsweetened, semisweet or bittersweet chocolate (that's 2/3 cups chips)
• 1 1/2 sticks of butter
• 2 cups sugar
• 3 eggs
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 cup flour

prep:

• spray all the parts of your gorgeous new chicago metallic brownie pan with oil/baking spray
• preheat oven to 350*

actual cooking:

• nuke butter and chocolate for 2 minutes until butter is melted
• stir until chocolate is melted

• add sugar & combine

• add eggs & vanilla
• combine

• add flour
• combine

• assemble pan with bottom

• pour in batter
• tap it gently on the counter

• lower in the grid

• bake for 35 minutes
• cool briefly in the pan
• remove grid gently
• transfer pan bottom to a wire rack to cool completely

thank you, thank you, thank you, mimi!

baked falafel

i've made falafel from a mix before, all re-hydrated and deep-fried (and kosher!), but this recipe for falafel that was baked instead of fried intrigued me. besides, i'm totally ready to amp up my game. and... my food processor was still on the counter from a fight i had with some blueberry bars last weekend.

um, and then i read the read the recipe beyond its title and saw that it does take a little pan-frying, but also bakes, which calls for a cast iron skillet, if you ask me.



ingredients:

• 1 can (15-16 ounces) chickpeas, rinsed
• 1/4 cup chopped onion
• 1/4 cup parsley
• 1 tsp minced garlic
• 1 tsp ground cumin
• 1/4 tsp ground coriander
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp baking soda
• 1 tbs flour

prep:

• preheat oven to 400*
• chop your onion & garlic, but don't go crazy because you're putting them in the food processor, jackass
• rinse & drain your beans

actual cooking:

• pulse beans, onion, garlic, parsley, spices, salt & baking soda in the food processor until combined but still a little grainy (i went past this and my falafel had the consistency of... i don't know what. toothpaste. spicey toothpaste.)
• stir flour in by hand
• form into four patties and let them rest for fifteen minutes
  

• (this is a good time to put your cauliflower in the oven, generously sprayed with olive oil, and start your israeli cous cous going on the stovetop.)
• spray cast iron skillet with olive oil and set heat to medium-high
• fry patties about 2 minutes on each side
  

• transfer skillet to the oven and bake for 10 minutes
  
  
  

madeleines

last weekend my uncle jim gave me a madeleine pan. the week before, the miminator gave me a miniture madeleine pan. there's something about me that just insists that you give me the baking tools you don't use anymore. it's how i've become the proud owner of lots and lots of neat things, like antique lab & bunny cake molds, a few extra muffin tins and a checkerboard cake kit.

j is fond of madeleines. "fond" might be a staggering understatement. j left for a new job in another city this morning. yesterday, i made 8 dozen 3" madeleines and two dozen minis. i filled a 2.5 gallon bag with the full-sized cakelettes (the minis require more discipline than i generally exercise) and this morning he drove away with it half full. fond. in order to make so damn many, i had to quadruple the recipe-- i think i need to buy another madeleine pan.

ingredients:

• 2 cups unsalted butter, melted
• 4 cups flour
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 12 eggs
• 2 2/3 cups sugar
• 4 tsp vanilla

prep:

• melt the butter
• preheat to 375*

actual cooking:

• combine flour, baking powder & salt
• beat eggs & sugar at medium-high until tripled in volume (eh, 6-7 minutes)
• sift a 1/2 cup or so of the flour mix over the eggs and fold it in
• gently, slowly fold in the rest of the flour mix
• add about 1/4 cup of the egg/flour mix to the cooled melted butter & whisk
• gently fold the butter mixture into the rest of the batter
• chill for an hour
• grease your mold (i used baking spray)

• drop rounded tablespoons of batter into the mold (i piped mine in, as i do with anything that doesn't all go in one pan)
  

• bake for 11-12 minutes
• drop pan from a couple inches onto your counter to loosen madeleines
• cool un-scalloped side down on a rack
• present the little darlings elegantly on a tray or impressively in a giant zippy bag
  

best of luck, j.

(and thanks for taking care of him, uncles jim & frank!)

(and for the madeleine pan! i hope there were some left after he was alone in a car with them for 5 hours.)